A Short Lecture: Three Pieces of Advice on Socializing

In the name of Allah, all praise be to Allah.

May Allah confer His salutation, peace, and blessing upon His Messenger, His chosen man.

O my brothers and sisters, let us have a few minutes with a hadith among the hadiths of the Prophet shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam.

We need this hadith because it explains about the three principles of socializing.

Especially, when people are socializing with different kinds people in a society

with their different characters, such as

children and adults, Arabs and non-Arabs, black and white, Muslims and non-Muslims,

and therefore people must learn these three principles of socializing.

Now, you are going to learn about the science of socializing,

however the man who was given Jawami' Al-Kalim (few words with comprehensive meanings), honesty, and trustworthy,

who would not speak from his own inclination,

he shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam could briefly summarize it in only three sentences, three short statements.

The Advice from the Prophet of Allah

Let us pore over this hadith together in which the Prophet shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam

once said to Mu'adh bin Jabal,

"O Muadh, fear of Allah wherever you are, ...

... do good deeds after doing bad ones because the former will wipe the latter out, ...

... and behave decently towards people."  (HR. Ahmad.)

Behaving towards Allah

These three pieces of advice on socializing begin with good manners toward Allah 'azza wa jalla.

How do you behave toward Allah 'azza wa jalla? You behave with taqwa.

Taqwa means making a safeguard between you and the punishment of Allah,

by obeying His instructions and refraining from His prohibitions.

The greatest instruction in the Book of Allah is taqwa, most of the commands in the Book of Allah are about taqwa.

All of the apostles of Allah had said to their people,

"So fear Allah and obey me (the prophet). " (Ash Shu'araa: 108)

And there was a verse revealed to the Prophet shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam  at the beginning of Chapter Al Ahzab,

"O Prophet, fear Allah." (Al Ahzab: 1)

Fear Allah! Because if taqwa enters into someone's heart, it will make him connected (to Allah).

And a strong man is not that who is involved in a battle, but the strong one is that who fears (of Allah).

Allahuakbar!  How great and amazing this word is! This word is so strong that it is conveyed and spread among us.

Listen with me and ponder upon it! "Fear of Allah wherever you are, ..."

It grows in the soul of Mu'adh and those who come after him the sense of being watched and accompanied by Allah 'azza wa jalla.

"There is in no private conversation three but that He is the fourth of them, ...

... nor are there five but that He is the sixth of them, ...

... and no less than that and no more except that He is with them [in knowledge] wherever they are." (Al-Mujaadila: 7)

Allah, exalted is He and high, is always observing you,

so you must fear Allah, the exalted and high, in a trivial matter or the vast one.

And take a look at how this word was real and deeply affecting into the heart of a man

who had ever sought to seduce his cousin to have intercourse, as mentioned in an authentic hadith.

She came to him because she was really in need of money,

so he said to her, "I will give you a sum of money, ...

... on condition that you yield up yourself to me."

And when they got together to have sexual intercourse as if they were a married couple

The girl said to him, "Fear Allah, ...

... do not put a ring (on a finger) with no right in doing so."

This statement strongly struck his soul and made him fear Allah, mighty and sublime is He,

henceforth he left her and his money for that girl.

Then a big rock blocking him and his friends moved aside when they were stuck in a cave.

The story is mentioned in a known hadith (narrated Bukhari).

And then, the best way to behave toward Allah is that you fear Allah with your belief and your creed,

a correct and pure creed that is not tainted nor contaminated by something which may alter its purity.

You fear Allah, mighty and sublime is He, with your tawheed toward Him

regarding His Oneness of worship, Oneness of lordship, and Oneness of His names and attributes.

You fear Allah by not dealing with the rebellious,

magicians, and so on, including shamans and soothsayers.

And never do something that Allah, mighty and sublime is He, forbids such as sorcery and shamanism,

and other kinds of mischief such as ribaa (interest), zinaa (fornication), or drinking wine.

Not at All! Fear to Allah in every matter.

This single word (taqwa) consists of thousands of instructions and prohibitions.

So is the way to behave toward Allah, almighty and sublime is He.

Behaving toward Ourselves

Meanwhile, the principle etiquette to behave toward yourselves is

"... follow your bad deeds with good deeds because the former will wipe the latter out, ..."

When you commit a sin, make a mistake, or transgress,

because none can abstain from mistakes, all sons Adam must make mistakes,

(mentioned) in a hadith, "All of the children of Adam are sinners, and the best sinners are those who repent often." (Narrated by Tirmidhi)

One among verses in the Book of Allah which instill great hope is (which means)

"Say, 'O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], ...

... do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. ..." (Az Zumar: 53)

Every sin will be forgiven by Allah, except the sin of shirk (associating anything with Allah) if someone dies upon it.

Allah has told about Himself that,

"Indeed, Allah does not forgive association with Him, ...

... but He forgives what is less than that for whom He wills." (An Nisaa: 48)

If a servant repents, regrets, discontinues (his sins), and hopes (in Allah),

Allah will be very excited about your repentance, Allah is glad about your repentance!

Allah is happy with your repentance. O the Muslim women, if you repent from your mischief and sins,

O my Muslim brothers, if we are willing to repent to Allah, mighty and sublime be He, and regret upon (sins),

Allah will give life upon our hearts and if we regret (upon our sins) Allah will be very glad of our repentance.

By Allah, indeed, Allah is more pleased with repentance of His servant

than a man among you who is in a trip through a waterless desert

on his riding beast carrying food and drink and then it gets lost

along with his whole provision. When he despairs of being survived and just waits for his death.

He only sits under shade of trees, waiting for his death. He then closes his eyes and falls asleep.

When he wakes up, he has seen his riding beast already before him and then he grabs its tether fast.

After that he says (by a slip of a tongue), "O Allah, You are my servant, ...

...  and I am Your lord." (Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim)

Allah is more pleased with His servant's repentance than this pleased man with the return of his lost riding beast.

Hasten to repent before the door gets closed,

and before the days to gather provision (for the Hereafter) end.

That is why the Prophet after saying: " fear of Allah wherever you are, ...," then (saying)

"...follow your bad deeds with good deeds because the former will wipe out the latter, ..."

And in the revelation, "And establish prayer at the two ends of the day and at the approach of the night. ...

... Indeed, good deeds do away with misdeeds." (Hud: 114)

That is how you must deal with your own souls which are persistent enjoiners of evil,

hence whenever you commit a sin, you must repent to Allah, mighty and sublime is He.

Be careful and never despair over the mercy of Allah,

"No one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people." (Joseph: 87)

Behaving toward Others

At last, let us talk about the third advice of the art of socializing with people.

"... and behave decently towards people."

Behave towards all people, socialize with them, your parents, your wives, your children,

your neighbors, your relatives, your partners, and the whole of humankind in the world.

How do you behave with them? With decent conducts noble sayings,

smiles, and trying to always speak properly and smile nicely,

and that is a true believing man,

who does not speak except good words and who is tolerant.

Noble etiquette has been defined by many Muslim scholars

such as Ibnul Qoyyim, Ibnul Mubarak, and Imam Ahmad and they said that

good conduct comprises tolerance upon harms, you are patient with harms upon you,

stopping harms, you do not harm others,

and you share goodness upon people.

Sharing goodness, most of the people think that the word goodness only refers to money.

No! It is not only related to money but also saying noble words, giving a piece of advice,

and offering helps to other Muslim brothers.

Thus, those who have got excellent conducts will obtain a high position

"Indeed, I (the Messenger of Allah) )guarantee a house in the highest place of Paradise ..."

For whom? " ...  for one who has good conducts." (Narrated by Abu Dawod.)

And the closest people to the Messenger of Allah shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam,

Who are they? They are those who have got decent manners.

"Indeed, the dearest people to me and the closest ones to me among you on the Day of Resurrection ...

... will be those who are the best of you in manners and the kindest." (Narrated by Tirmidhi.)

"Who get along with others and the others get along with them, ...

... There is no good for those who are not friendly and not befriended (by others). (Narrated by Tabraani.)

Do you want to have good manners? Ask Allah with a supplication taught by the Prophet shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam

"O Allah, guide me to the best of manners, for none can guide to the best manners but You, ...

... And protect me from bad deeds, for none can protect me from bad deeds but You." (Narrated by Nasaa'e)

The Prophet shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam used to say,

"O Allah, as You have perfected my physique, perfect my attitude."

O Allah, grant upon our souls taqwaa and purify them, You are the best one to purify them.

You are the ِAlly and Protector of theirs, Aameen.

Allah knows best. May peace, mercy, and blessing be upon you.

Translated and posted by Abou Osamah
(Bayu bin Slamet Ad Daisamiy),
may Allah forgive his sins and his parents’ sins.

The translation was under supervision of Translation Crew of Yufid.tv, 
may Allah forgive their sins.

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